


Where it Ends and How it Begins

by goodcasting



Series: Twisted and Steamy [6]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Hokuto POV, Lots of dialogue, M/M, Rejection, Taiga is a temp, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Weird Plot Shit, fast forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27669541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodcasting/pseuds/goodcasting
Summary: The start of a twisted relationship between a painter and a yakuza as Hokuto comes to terms with his feelings for Taiga, but does Taiga feel the same way?
Relationships: Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto
Series: Twisted and Steamy [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928986
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Where it Ends and How it Begins

**Author's Note:**

> >To those who've been waiting, thank you for your patience.  
> >Written in Hokuto's (first) POV  
> >I apologize for the amount of pain I have to inflict on Hokuto to write this part.  
> >I also apologized for how evil I wrote Taiga.

We didn’t talk on the way home, or more like, I didn’t talk on our way home, I just concentrated on driving while Taiga talked about how interesting my music taste is because he rarely listened to anything, he also talked about his “paper driver” status and that he might never drive his own car because he was too scared to go behind the wheel, he also shared that he really liked the strawberry on a shortcake that I bought for him and asked where I got it, and when he noticed that I just shifted between nodding and mumbling, he took it as a sign to stop talking. I felt bad the moment silence spiraled into the car, Taiga never talked that much, and here I am, being unreasonable just because of that thing. I let out a heavy sigh, how could I let the one thing that I don’t have affect how I feel about the things that I have? I suddenly became uncomfortable with this silence that I initiated, I took a quick glance at Taiga, he was staring at the darkness outside while his arms remained crossed on his chest. Then, my phone rang and I could see from the screen that it was Watanabe, I couldn’t ignore the call and I couldn’t reach for my air pods either so I just quickly pressed the answer button and Watanabe’s angry voice boomed inside the car.

“Hokuto, where are you?’

“Uhm, I’m on my way back to Tokyo,” I answered, unsure whether to tell him that I’m with his cousin.

“Head straight to the gallery, there’s a mess.”

“A mess? What do you mean?”

“The Vermeer, my Vermeer has been stolen!” Watanabe shouted and Taiga turned to look at me, his eyes wide just as my heart drummed.

“Stolen? What do you mean sto-?”

“It’s Taiga! That prick, bastard cousin of mine stole it!” Watanabe bellowed.

I was at loss for words while a multitude of emotions crossed Taiga’s pretty face until it settled on silent fury.

“A-are you sure? I mean, why would he?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Watanabe answered as though it was pretty obvious, “let’s talk when you arrived,” he muttered indignantly before ending the call.

I could feel Taiga seething as he spoke, “are you sure? Really, Hokuto? Are you doubting me? No, do you think that I would actually steal that painting?”

“I was merely asking Watanabe a question, I mean-” before I could explain further, I heard a click and a nudge and to my utter horror, I heard sounds of cruising cars at the expressway.

“T-taiga,” I said, slowly, fear mounting with each moment that my car’s door is slightly ajar, chilly air blowing in. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Do you think, no, do you believed that I stole that painting?” He asked in a strangely calm voice while his hand remained on the door handle.

I swallowed before answering, checking the area if I could stop at the roadside or if Taiga would be fast enough to throw himself outside, “Taiga, will you close the door, please?” I said, desperation evident in my voice.

“Answer me, Hokuto, do you believe that I stole that painting?” He asked again, the calmness gone and was replaced with measured anger bordering with a threat.

“Taiga, plea-”

“Answer me!” He roared.

“I don’t know!” I roared back, “now please close the door,” I added, my voice and insides quivering. The moment the door was closed, I immediately pressed the auto-lock button.

“Look, Taiga-”

“Don’t talk to me, I want to take a nap.”

I glanced at him with disbelief and my insides twists when I saw a single tear fell from his closed eyes, which he immediately wiped with the back of his hand before turning his head toward the window. A loud honk made me swerved violently to the right, my speed was slowing on the supposedly 60 kph lane, I took another quick glance at Taiga and took a deep breath before directing my focus back on the road, this day started fine and it immediately escalated to near-madness.

***

3 years ago... _I woke unable to open my eyes, it felt like something heavy was on my right eye that I couldn’t open them, my fingers trembled as I touched my eyelids and winced as I felt my eyelids swollen down to my cheekbones and jaw._

_“You’re awake.”_

_I forced my left eye to open, three men entered the room and stood at the foot of the bed, all of them in suits, and one of them carried a gun. I immediately coiled, memories of my last night’s ordeal came crashing back._

_“We’re not part of that gang,” the man in the middle said, the same man who obviously calls the shots with the way he handled himself._

_“Then, w-who are you?”_

_“Didn’t notice that we’re speaking the same language?”_

_I immediately straightened my back, he was right, we are speaking Japanese and I was too distraught to notice._

_“How did I get here? What happened to me, to those men?”_

_“The mafia, you mean? Or shall I say, the husband of the woman you’ve been cavorting with?”_

_I winced again, physical and emotional pain sliced throughout my weakened body._

_“That was brave, or maybe stupid of you to have an affair-”_

_“I didn’t know,” I cut in. I couldn’t believe that I got beaten this badly and I’m still making stupid excuses for myself and worst, for her. I knew she’s married, but I didn’t know that her husband is a Mafioso and I had the utmost displeasure of knowing that fact last night. No wonder she told me that she wanted to be free, no wonder she told me that she was only staying because of fear._

_“How did you meet her?”_

_“At my Uni in Japan, she was my Arts and Humanities professor.”_

_“Oh, and you had a relationship while she was in Japan?”_

_I nodded with both of my eyes now closed because they hurt._

_“And you followed her here?”_

_I nodded again._

_“Ah, it must be nice to be young and stupid.”_

_I winced once more, it was not the first time I was told being “young and stupid”, the priest I confessed to more than two weeks ago said the same thing._

_“I-I love her,” I said with a sigh because I knew that just like the priest, this man wouldn’t understand either._

_“She only used you,” he said with conviction, “a lonely woman abroad, here comes someone young, good-looking, and foreign, while her squared-jaw husband thousand miles away, why would she not want a good fuck?”_

_“I’m sure she also loves me,” I said, my conviction as strong as ever._

_“Did she?” He paused, “ever tell you that she also loves you?”_

_  
“Yes.” I lied._

_“Really?” I could tell that he didn’t believe me, “well, you’ve been asleep for two days-”_

_“What?”_

_“-I highly suggest that you stay here until you’re strong and able to go back to Japan and I hope, I really hope that you wouldn’t look for her, your love is obviously pure, I hope it won’t get tainted further.”_

_I stayed silent as the men left my room, three weeks later, I went looking for her._

_***_

“I’m not dating him, I’m just letting him fuck me.”

I felt little daggers sliced through my heart when I heard those words from Taiga, I clenched my hand, I should leave, it was a mistake to eavesdrop on their conversation and it was also a mistake for me to get worried for Taiga’s safety when he could handle himself with his sharp tongue alone. But who was I kidding? If I were so worried about his safety, I could have just run away somewhere with him, or drop him in the comfort of his home, but I delivered him right into Watanabe’s doorstep.

“You prick!” I heard Watanabe bellowed. “Do you think my employees are your whores or something?”

“I don’t know why this conversation is taking this turn but I would like to remind you three things: first, you guys approached me, second, it was also you guys who made the fake vandalism that further convinced me to restore your Vermeer, and third, Hokuto whored himself at me and I was merely giving him a chance.”

I didn’t think that I could clench my fist so hard that I thought my veins have darkened, my sensations greatly diminished, yet I could hear and feel my heartbeat and pulses pounding in greater heights that my breathing is finding hard to catch up. Did Taiga really say those things? Did he really mean it or he only said it to spite Watanabe? So he knew that I faked the vandalism, he probably knew more than he would let on.

“You knew about that vandalism yet you still restored my Vermeer, why, so you could steal it?” Watanabe accused.

“I feel bad for the painting,” Taiga said in a measured tone. “I feel bad that it has to be dragged to whatever you guys have gotten into, and I didn’t steal it nor did I ask anyone to do so.”

“You were the last person to leave the gallery on Dec 2nd!” Watanabe roared and the next conversation happened in nothing but shouts.

“So? I worked late because I won’t be able to work today and is the Vermeer something that I could keep in my pocket? Did you see me carrying that huge painting?

“Then, explain that motorcycle-biker friend of yours!”

“What about him?!”

“Still playing innocent, huh? Isn’t he an art forger? Why would you bring an art forger to see my Vermeer?”

  
“Well, he is an art forger, and I assumed that he could tell if the painting is real or not. Unfortunately, he never had a Vermeer so his knowledge is very limited.”

“Huh? Do you expect me to believe that?”

“Of course because I’m telling the truth!” I heard some movement like a chair being moved, “frankly though, why should I believe that the Vermeer was stolen? What if this was another ploy from you guys like that vandalism?”

I heard Watanabe grunted, “that was Hokuto’s own doing and my Vermeer is indeed stolen!”

“Then look for it, but I assure you, I don’t have it. I’m leaving.” The next sound I heard is the sound of the oak doors opening and closing followed by Watanabe’s string of curses coupled with a thrashing of items. I stayed inside the meeting room where I had listened to everything, I followed Taiga’s silhouette as he passed-by the darkened room where I stood, unable to move, so much had happened today and I couldn’t process it yet.

Of course, we’re not dating, of course, he was just fucking me, as cruel as it may sound, it was the harsh truth that I’m relieving all over again, I felt like I was back in Umbria, back in the agony that was my first love, back to being the foolish virgin, and what is scarier is that I’m willing to hurt myself again.

***

“I’m here to come clean,” I told Taiga when I went to his house the next day, he wore the same outfit from his birthday, he got dark circles under his eyes, his skin paler, I wonder if he has been painting nonstop. He didn’t reply, he simply quirked an eyebrow and motioned me to seat on the S-shape chair where I once sat when we first met.

“I did it, the vandalism, I was desperate to have you as the restorer, I don’t want to disappoint Watanabe so I did it. I knew you have a soft spot for broken artworks so I knew that you wouldn’t be able to resist it.”

“I know, you got some of the paint on your sweater that day, it wasn’t very obvious, they were just several dots but I could tell that it was the same paint when I checked the Vermeer,” Taiga said with boredom in his voice. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“I said that because I want to come clean and now I want to come clean about my feelings.”

I saw his body tensed for a second before he went back to slouching, he crossed his thin arms as though he was cold and directed his eyes at his glass windows, the frosted glass reminding us of the coldness outside, the same coldness that I could apply to him, he looked beautiful but cold.

“I was intimidated when I first met you, but along with that intimidation, I found myself being pulled to you, fatal attraction? I don’t know, but one thing’s for sure, I couldn’t get you out of my mind, you were the apple offered by the devil by which I chose to take a bite.”

Taiga glanced sideways at me, “are you saying that I tempted you?”

“Your existence is a temptation and you know that,” I answered back, my eyes never leaving his.

“Why are you telling me this? There’s no need to romanticize what happened to us-”

“Was there really nothing, Taiga?” I could feel my croaked when I said his name, and I could only pray to heavens that I’d be able to keep my composure until the end. “You sent me an invitation to your live exhibit-”

“I was just teasing you-”

“You were kissing another woman yet your eyes were-”

“-again, I was just teasing you.”

“You tended to my wound-”

“I was just being nice and I don’t want blood around my house-”

“You immediately agreed when I asked you for sex-”

“I was just being a man, I want sex and you offered it.”

“You told me you missed me when I was gone for days-”

“Well, I missed fucking you, nothing more-”

“The way you kissed me, the way you looked me every time we-”

“It was just hormones, lust.”

I swallowed hard, “was it really just sex?”

An uncomfortable silence followed before Taiga looked and said, “yes, Hokuto, it was just sex.” I saw Taiga’s gripped on his arms tightened, his eyes getting watery until I realized that it wasn’t him, it was me. My eyes suddenly sting, my throat constricting, just as my breathing went fast and swallow, I’d embarrassed myself to an unfathomable degree and there were still things I wish to say.

“You know what’s funny? This isn’t the first time I heard something like this, that I was only wanted for sex.” My eyes started getting blurry as tears pooled. “Do I have an invisible ‘fuck me’ written somewhere in my body? What did I do or what I didn’t do that people like you think I could be used like this?”

“Hokuto-” I heard Taiga whisper.

“Maybe I should change my career, should I prostitute myself? I think it’ll be lucrative for me seeing how many people already think that I’m such a good fuck.”

“Hokuto, I-”

“Don’t, Taiga.” Tears started falling from my eyes, “don’t even try to appease me because I just might think that you care when I know that you didn’t. I guess we’re going to be dangerous acquaintance with a history after all.”

Despite the tears on my eyes, I could clearly see Taiga’s beautiful features that I got so endeared with and how I wished I could touch his face one last time, but that would be madness after I bared my soul and got rejected.

“Goodbye, Taiga” I finished and left without looking back.

***

_Two years later…_

I don’t know how Southeast Asian’s managed to live in perpetual summer weather but two days of sleeping with a broken air conditioner are enough to throw off my sanity and that sanity got tested when I saw Taiga seated on the foot of my bed. I quickly backed away, aware of the sweat permeating across the front and back of my shirt, aware of the heat outside and inside that my electric fan failed to offer any relief, and aware of how my heart started pounding for that one person I never expected to see but my mind and body clearly remembered. 

“What? How? W-why?”

Taiga smiled, the same smile that didn’t reach his eyes, he wore his standard clothing, white tee and ripped jeans and his glorious blond locks in a half ponytail.

“Hello, Hokuto, have you forgiven me?” He asked with hesitation.

I swallowed hard, still unsure of whether this was reality or a dream, but one thing’s for sure, I knew I haven’t forgiven him.

“No.”

“Ah.” He didn’t look surprised by my answer, in fact, he looked like he was expecting it. “Your phone is ringing, you should answer it,” Taiga said and that’s when I noticed that my phone is indeed ringing, and when I answered it, I woke up.

“Hokuto!” I heard the familiar high-pitch voice of Randy, his voice is more high-pitch for some reason as though he was excited over something.

I squinted my eyes and looked at the time, it was only past 7 on a Saturday morning yet my room’s temperature felt like it was already noon.

“Hmmm, morning,” I murmured.

“We have an emergency meeting at the agency by 9 am, both of us have to be there as well.”

I quickly got up, I knew that Singaporeans were as hardworking as Japanese, but this is the first time that I was called to work on a weekend.

“Do you know the reason why?”

“Well,” he started speaking in hush tones, “apparently, a famous artist agreed to hold an exhibition for our agency, this artist never exhibited any of his works nor had he ever put his works on sale to the public so this will definitely be a big advertisement for us.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” I said.

“It is so, be there by 9, bye.”

I went straight to the bathroom for a quick shower, I set the water at an almost freezing temperature and felt the humidity being washed away. It had been more than a year since I joined the Art Retrieval Agency (ARA), a private service firm that deals with lost artwork by acting as a “negotiator” for the return of the stolen art, and the Vermeer is the main reason why I joined the agency, I haven’t given up on it even though Watanabe have lost interest and told me to give up, but a part of me just couldn’t give up, I needed to find it so I became a private art recovery specialist to ensure its return.

However, ARA isn’t that big yet, most people would rather leave the job to the police since it’s free even though they were never guaranteed of their precious art good to be returned, so our president finally decided that we need a sideline to keep our company afloat and one of which is to transform the huge space in our office as an exhibition hall and thereby, selling artworks. I reached our office 20 minutes early, my damp hair now completely dry and I could feel my sweaty underarms staining my suit while sweat cascaded on my back.

“Hokuto, here!”

I waived at Randy when I entered our meeting room and sat beside him, our agency employed 6 art retrieval specialists and right now, 2 from our team are out in the field to retrieve a Monet for a certain politician, which we hoped would also be a boost to our agency’s image. We stood up when our president entered the room, he wore a red Hawaiian shirt, powder blue chinos, and Birkenstock sandals, as though he was just lounging around in Palawan beach when he made the deal and called a meeting.

“Hello, sorry for calling you guys on your day off, but this is urgent,” he said and placed his 2 iphone11 Pro Max on the table, “as you all know, art retrieval is as hard as us trying to get clients, it didn’t matter if we have 100% guaranteed rate if we don’t have clients so we need a sideline and I’m happy to announce that I’ve managed to secure an artist who never exhibited any of his works, and also agreed to 50% commission from his sold works.”

The room erupted with “oohs” and not surprising because most artists would want 70 to 80% commission and this artist agreeing on 50% could only mean two things, he was either desperate to sell his works or he was rich enough that he didn’t care.

“Do we know this artist?” asked one of my colleagues.

“I think so, although he is quite elusive, his name went rounds here in Singapore when that Kpop star posted a magazine article of that artist who refused a commission from him.”

Another round of _ooh’s_ filled the room, the only two women in the room looked particularly excited. I have no idea why they were excited, I’ve been out of touch when it comes to social media and I don’t particularly enjoy the Kpop scene so I don’t know what they were fawning over.

“So, I got your attention now, he’s already here by the way,” our president cleared his throat, “Sir, you may enter.”

I looked on the main door on my left, saw the handle turned, I took a deep breath and I probably stopped breathing midway when a familiar face entered the room, the face that I saw again in my dreams before I came to this meeting. Gone were the days when he only wore a white tee, ripped jeans, and slippers, he’s now wearing an all-black suit that made him look more intimidating and richer, also gone were his blond locks, his hair now black and short that it didn’t even reach his earlobe, and probably the most not-so-him of all, he smiled, he smiled at everyone the moment he entered the room even to me. He didn’t give any indication that he recognized me and went straightaway beside our president.

Our president cleared his throat and I found myself mustering the courage to look at the man beside our president, “Guys, I want you to all meet, Kyomoto Taiga.”

**Author's Note:**

> >As they say, for something to begin, something must end first.  
> >It was heavy to write this.  
> >the italicized part of this story is a flashback  
> >Thank you so much for waiting and reading.


End file.
